First Cheerio…
and not his last
First raw Brussels sprout…
and probably his last
So there you go- according to my focus group, kids prefer Cheerios to raw Brussels sprouts.
Now don’t say I never teach you anything.
.
Mar 25
New York State of a Mind
.
This weekend I was reminded that not only will my kids grow up with a different accent to mine, they’ll grow up with a different vocabulary to mine. And I don’t just mean the whole “two countries separated by a common language” thing, nor do I mean the whole “what’s a CD Daddy?” thing. I mean the vocabulary and references they’ll acquire by growing up in New York as opposed to a sleepy village in England.
.
This weekend I somewhat ambitiously took the two boys to a brunch downtown to say goodbye to some friends who are leaving New York. Alex was working on Saturday so it was a boys only trip. To add a little excitement to an already adventurous journey between two opposite parts of Manhattan I thought to myself “Why take a taxi when I can take the double stroller beast on the subway?”
.
Half way through the journey I had one of those Hugh-Grant-in-Four-Weddings-and-a-Funeral epiphanic “odd decision” moments. Being the weekend the subway was a bloody nightmare- a fact that didn’t escape Max’s attention when our Express train decided to make local stops.
.
Max: Is this the Express train Daddy?
Me: It was the Express train but now it’s a local train.
Max: Why aren’t we on the Express train?
Me: Because it’s the weekend and the subway goes a little crazy on the weekend.
Max: Can’t we change to an Express train?
Me: I’d love to sweetheart, but it’s now running as a local train. I think it’s when the subway gets too close to Brooklyn it refuses to work properly.
Max: Okay, but the Express train is a lot quicker so next time we should take the Express Daddy (disappointed)..
Max and Charlie consulting the subway map... still unsure as to why their father would take the local train- rookie error
The notion of taking the subway, let alone an Express subway would have been completely foreign to me growing up. Or even taking a cab for that matter. Around the same time as learning how to crawl Max learned how to hail a cab, and I wish I was joking about this.
Growing up I didn't know what a "boozy brunch" was either. Although as I was driving a double stroller both myself and the passengers only drank in moderation.
Another of this weekend’s classic New York kid moments happened when Max’s buddy was impressing his parents with his counting skills. Breezing past 10, he sailed through to 20 without a hitch then effortlessly through the 20s… 25, 26, 27, 28, then 29… at which point he paused and then said… “PH”.
.
PH, of course, meaning “Penthouse”.
Sadly not the PH
..
Mar 24
Five guys
.
This Sunday saw a great meeting of the minds. From left to right… Masters Finley, Charlie, Easton, Elliott and Max.
.
They met to discuss a wide range of topics such as:
.
What effect does having only one guitar have on the harmony of a group (Answer: not great)
What effect does having five boys in one room have on the freshness of the air (Answer: not great)
What are the chances that one adult conversation gets finished throughout the entirety of the meeting (Answer: not great)
.
Mar 21
Mine Again
When Charlie was born everyone said, and even Alex had to admit, that he looked like me. Fortunately for the little guy, having come into the World with Spinal Meningitis, he was already pretty immune to dealing with bad news.
And over his first seven months he has continued to exhibit his father’s features. Again, begrudgingly and murmuring “I sodding carried him for 9 sodding months” under her breath, Alex also had to agree.
Until tonight when my wife came into the kitchen holding a picture of herself at roughly Charlie’s age and declared: “you know… he looks like me”. I had been in the middle of putting my new ice cream maker through a second round of testing (tonight’s flavor: coffee) and the ridiculousness of her statement made me pour double the amount of espresso into the mix.
There are a few things that I don’t necessarily agree on with my wife but I let slide for the sake of harmony (like using the taxi driver’s “suggested tip” button when taking a cab, or allowing Charlie to be naked in our bed or on the sofa or ANYWHERE THAT YOU DON’T WANT HIM TO P*SS ALL OVER…) As I said, I let these small things slide but the “he looks like me” thing… I drew the line.
Okay... she may have something, but for one thing- Alex is black and white and Charlie is in colour. Case closed
And she didn’t stop there either… plucking out another photo from thin air she then turned to Max.
At least this is in colour.
While I admit that early on Max took more from his mother’s family than from my side, there is no denying that as he gets older some more of his Dad is creeping in.
The older Max gets the more I see the resemblance
So we are left with both Alex and me now claiming that both of our kids look identical to ourselves. There is of course the obvious conclusion that Alex and I actually look a lot more alike than we dare to admit… but we’re not going to go there. And I suppose it should also be said that it doesn’t matter if we see ourselves in our children or not, it doesn’t affect how much we love them.
Whether we believe that or not, it should be said.
Just like it should be obvious that if you eat a lot of coffee ice cream made out of real espresso at night then you’ll be wired at 1am while writing your post.
.
Mar 20
Equinox
When I was about 8 years old I remember my teacher telling us about the Spring Equinox, otherwise known as the first day of Spring. The day that the Earth is neither tilted away or towards the Sun and when the day and the night are the same length.
These are the things that you are taught in those early years that you never forget and pray will be asked every Christmas when you play Trivial Pursuit Family Edition . The capital of Outer Mongolia (Ulan Bator) or the height of Mount Everest (8,848 meters) and the date of the Spring Equinox (March 21st). In the Northern hemisphere at least.
Which is always why I got so annoyed when I heard Americans calling March 20 the first day of Spring. I’ve been here for over 7 years now and every year they got it wrong. But I never said anything because nobody likes the English prick that uses meters (especially when he spells it metres) or corrects them on somewhat trivial dates, like the Spring Equinox.
So it turns out it is, in fact, March 20th. Making today the first day of Spring. Who knew? Apparently everyone. And the internet knew as well, yet all these years I’ve just arrogantly assumed that because I learned this fact many moons ago, America was wrong and I was right and therefore what was the point in Googling it?
The first leaves and Koalas of Spring have started to appear.
Unlike Christmas, but like Easter, the Spring Equinox changes date depending on… stuff. Big space stuff. Stop me if I’m getting too scientific. So it did in fact move from March 21 to March 20 a few years ago… roughly when I moved to the US.
Sorry America- you were right and I was wrong. Although I’m still right about the proper spelling of colour, neighbour and favour; that we walk on a pavement not a sidewalk, and that it is important to learn about other countries beside your own… like Outer Mongolia.
.
